I fucking hate myself
Anger aimed at the self... They say this is what depression is. When you feel wronged, and you can't afford to turn it to anybody else. When you feel wronged because you wronged yourself for whatever reason. For your love for others who never saw you. I wake up from a long dream, everyday. A dream in which my life was long past. A dream in which I missed it all. A life that I have no more time to. But they're wrong. They're all wrong. I still have time. This is the only life I got, no matter how many other lives I dream of. And yet... My hatred of myself that brought me here remains. And it wants me trapped. I don't want to direct this anger to others. But I feel it, like a beast thrashing about, hungry for any target. The people I love, or myself. I wanna crash out. I want to die. Money... I dreamed about money today. About how my entire family was badmouthing my cousin who, unlike me who can barely stand to touch money, has told me also has unhealthy relationship wit...