I wish I could die

 I don't want to cause people pain, but I wish I could die.

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Today

 Today will be just another day I'll forget Just another day that will vanish in my memory As if it never happened. Today I didn't manage to do the things I wanted Today I played and I didn't stop Today I thought a lot The past and the future The what ifs and what isn'ts About happiness I drank tea I'm closing the day I"m too sleepy and I'm letting go of today
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Reasons to not kill yourself:

 Your parents will think that they have failed you They have. Your siblings will miss your voice. I don't have siblings. Your pets will be waiting for you to come home. They'll move on just fine. Your best friend will be missing their other half. I don't have a best friend. Your mom will remember the way you smile when you eat the food she made for you. I don't care. You'll never be able to listen to your favorite song ever again. I don't care. You'll never be able to achieve your dream. I won't be able to anyways. You'll never know if you met the one. I'll never meet them anyway. There's always a way to solve your problem. Nope. My angry reactions to a short vid about me searching why life is worth living lmao Comments: "Suicide doesn't take away the pain, it gives it to someone else" - Kakashi Hatake pft. My eyes rolled to the back of the skull first time i read it though. I'm fine though in the sense that I'm not acti...
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I'm too sad about too many things

I'm sad about having to give up my relationship with my dad who I love very much, at least for the time being. I'm sad about betraying myself and for losing trust in myself on every basis. I'm sad about losing trust in the world, in people and in the future. I'm sad about taking so much time to figure things out that it cost me everything that my life could have been at this point. I'm sad at how things were in my life. I live in constant mourning man. I really do and this is me figuring out how to process it instead of just numbing it down.
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